I've been attempting to be positive lately

And it’s working. I don’t wake up hating myself anymore. I look forward to the day ahead. I smile at myself in the mirror instead of frown, even if I have to fake it sometimes.

It’s so nice. Honestly. I’m really happy that I’m not in that horrible dark whole anymore. I genuinely am feeling close to happy, and I don’t want to give that up. I’m starting to feel like life is worth it; that I am worth it.

Some days are still a struggle since I have struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts for a very long time. Something will happen and I'll go spiraling back down again, but for the most I can bring myself out of that now. I can honestly say things have gotten a bit better. It's amazing being able to say that because there was and sometimes still are times where I thought that life would only get better once I die. I think I can safely say that those times beginning to be behind me.

Now I didn't get here on my own. I wish I could say that, but I would be lying, haha. I owe a lot of successes to my school's guidance counselor. He's put up with me and helped me for two years. Whenever I had a problem I could tell him and he'd help me through it. He was very supportive, understanding, and genuinely cared. I don't know where's I'd be if it wasn't for him, and I owe him for that.

That little appreciation paragraph brings me to my next point:

If. You are depressed, dealing with suicidal thoughts or self-harm; please tell someone. A trusted adult, the suicide hotline, your best friend, anyone. . If you do I promise you won't regret it in the end. I won't lie, as I thought he had betrayed my trust by telling my mother some of the things I had told him but I probably wouldn't be here if he hadn't. People want the best for you and you should know that you deserve the best for yourself.

I know I may sound hypocritical because I'm not completely better myself, but I'm getting there because I took the necessary steps to help me get better. I have lots of regrets about things I've done throughout this time, but of all of the things I do regret, making my struggles known to others isn't one of them.

Take care. You are loved.


Soleia